I’ve lived in Bangalore for close to 10 years now.
When I landed at 3AM I remember driving through an empty MG road and looking at the Metro pillars thinking….oh nice…just in time. I asked my cab driver “Oh wow is Bangalore traffic always this nice?”
He laughed.
“Just you wait. You will need to learn how to survive traffic in Bengaluru”
Oh boy.
Take a look at any Bangalore traffic map, or simply fire up your Google maps and notice wherever you need to go…it’s going to be at least 30 minutes.
How To Reduce Traffic in Bangalore?
Namma Metro (Bangalore’s metro system) was supposed to fix a lot of things.
Unfortunately, metro construction is probably the slowest in the world, with I’m assuming on average about 2KM per year being constructed.
Ironic considering Dubai metro is built by Indians too, and gets built at a rate of 10KM per year.
Yes yes, I know, things are different over there and in China.
But regardless… in 7 years of its operation I’ve taken the metro ONCE.
In fact, I once walked from Trinity Circle to Brigade road to meet someone only to realize looking up after 30 minutes of sweating..oh crap, I just walked between two metro stations.
Traffic jams are constantly on the mind of Bangalorean’s and whether it’s Silk Board or Marathahalli Bridge, it’s a daily disaster. You step outside in this day and age and when you reach your destination you just want to do a 5-minute meditation to clear your head. It’s no wonder you see a MindFit or yoga studio on pretty much every corner now.
Who can fix the traffic congestion problem?
So what’s the real issue here? Everybody likes to blame the government. Corruption, lack of execution, red tape, bureaucracy.
For sure. I’m with you.
But in this day and age of technological innovation, engineering marvels, and any service at your finger tips (especially in India where you can get a meal, massage and Amazon in minutes) I’m going to blame another culprit.
Convenience. Swiggy. Uber. Zomato.
I have this theory that’s quite simple. Bridges and trains and transportation evolved out of pressing needs. Things got done because there was no other solution.
Golden Gate Bridge, the Lincoln Tunnel, you get the idea. People are gonna have our heads…let’s build this damn bridge! *Ahem not…hey, there is already massive traffic here, lets have a parade during rush hour to celebrate my kid’s birthday or dig up this road again for who knows what*
Bangalore traffic is choking daily, but it continues to stuff its face because the majority of middle-class consumers aren’t looking ahead…they’re looking down.
Ten years ago if it took you 90 minutes to go from Whitefield to Koramangala, you would be staring out the window cursing the politician’s face you passed by on every hoarding.
Often times the delay isn’t even due to a traffic accident or any construction….it just is what is. Some auto just stopped to have some chai…and that causes a big redirect of traffic. Oh well.
As you missed your kids birthday party because of a traffic signal problem or the tea break causing a pointless 40-minute delay, you’d probably scream and shout at your local government official to do something about it.
Sundeep Rao is from Bangalore and talks about the city and overcrowding.
Today you watch comedy videos on your phone, listen to podcasts (ahem, check mine above) and do your grocery shopping. You chat with friends and enjoy the cheapest Internet in the world.
If you’re really, angry, you MIGHT send an email if you have the patience to look at their mySpace themed government website.
You even take a conference call when you’re not losing signal between army areas…because when you get home you need to “disconnect.”
TECHNOLOGY INCREASED REACTIONS, BUT DECREASED ACTION
Social media, YouTube and a million other distractions have given governments (and private citizens) a way to mitigate infrastructure’s problems.
We kind of just “deal with it” because it’s not like we’re not spending another 2 hours working once we get home.
We handle that in traffic while sitting in the back of an Uber. But it’s not really fixing anything, it’s just shifting the headache.
Rather than spending another 20 minutes buying veggies and cooking at home, you realize it’s already 7PM, dinner won’t be ready by 9 so you may as well just give the luxury of waiting in line to your Swiggy guy. By the time you get home, having watched a NetFlix episode of Narcos, your Swiggy food is at your security and you’re ready to chill.
You’ve had a long exhausting day after all, being driven in the back of that taxi while your headphones kept falling out.
Rather than building more parking lots, we leave our cars at home and let Uber’s roam the streets in a moving swarm.
Rather than participating in our local discussions we share a pic on social media of that one time we participate in the political process…then go back to our Netflix.
I’m not saying I have the solution, but just like somebody who constantly complains about their job being a dead end or never having any romantic interests….nothing good will happen if you just sit on your phone.
In life, you update your resume, hit the gym and learn to make metaphorical steps to change your situation.
Maybe we should all start taking real steps instead.
I doubt Elon Musk likes sitting in city council meetings with technologically ignorant politicians trying to explain how self-driving cars are going to be a real thing but he needs them to update street lights, signals, and so on.
I doubt Zucks enjoyed explaining the BASICS of Facebook to 75 year politicians who stare at their phone the way I stare at the sun.
But I mean if they’re doing it with billions of dollars in the bank, what’s our excuse? You don’t have time to walk into your local official’s office once in six months because your so busy…cursing an inanimate street light?
People in Indiranagar (a trendy area in Bangalore filled with pubs) always complain about the noise, thanks to a million pubs that open up there daily. But whether you agree with it or not, the cops shut those pubs down or keep changing rules because those people are constantly on their heads to keep it down.
And you know why that gets done?
Because as of now, there’s no app to block out the noise.
1. MBA and Startup People (Funny for Office Types)
Filmed in Bangalore on April 2019, Sanjay does jokes about having an MBA, some startup ideas in the pub city and some fun crowd work. Filmed at B-Flat in Bangalore, India. He also talks comedy about Swiggy and people who are obsessed with innovation.
2. IT Industry Jokes
This video just crossed 2 million views, Sanjay is known as the best comedian for your IT crowd or corporate entertainment in India.
Whether you have a corporate show at Infosys, Wipro, Microsoft or other places, let him entertain your employees and visiting clients with the humor only they know.
Comedy show filmed at Vapour in Indiranagar in 2018.
3. Indian girls and Goa and Selfies Comedy
Sanjay performs stand up comedy at the Humming Tree in Bangalore, India about girls and selfies and how we’re obsessed with taking photos.
Social media has made us all influencers and comedy about the ladies is always welcome, right ladies?
4. Sanjay on Office Culture and Pointless Meetings
Office meetings and jokes are always fun, aren’t they?
Sanjay jokes in the Canvas Laugh Club in Mumbai, India about having meetings in the office and your work being connected to a projector.
The number one comedy club, sad that it closed last year!
5. Techie Jokes
Sanjay once again riffs on being a techie growing up in America with a series of relatable jokes about the IT industry and working in software, as well as being in America.
6. Dating in America Versus India
What’s the difference between dating a white girl versus an Indian girl? Sanjay explains in this clip from B-Flat in Indiranagar, Bangalore.
I’m so scared of looking creepy I won’t even ask you out.
Huh, what?
Dating is Awkward
I was at a bar in Goa recently doing what middle-class millennials do when they’re trying to cling on to their youth.
Having some drinks, wearing my cool Rainbow sandals that I got from California and chilling with some friends.
And since I’m a fairly normal dude with an ok life on paper…by friends I mean 8 guys and 2 of their wives. And by chilling, I mean pretending to enjoy the techno/psytrance/electronica or whatever it’s called these days while some douchey Russian bro tripping next to me reminds me of my bad life choices.
You get the idea.
As the evening is in full swing, I notice a group of four girls checking me out from the corner of my eye.
Now I’m no Brad Pitt and nothing to swoon about (although I did check to see if Brad was perhaps behind me), but I am fairly aware of my surroundings and have an ok level of confidence you require by a certain age.
I’m not the prize of the show but I’m not hideous, and when a group of attractive females are eye humping you, you’re mind figures out a game plan.
I mean you need some confidence to dance around Bangalore acting like IT is the shiz.
I started thinking maybe there’s a small chance I know one of them, or perhaps they know me, or hey, maybe, just maybe, this is what Goa is really all about. (Ahhhhhh yeah…….it’s going down).
So I did what any of us would have done in that situation.
NOTHING.
True story.
Now I would love to start my lecture to you about how bars are a waste of time, but that’s not where I’m going yet.
Oh, how I wish it was.
You see while I noticed the ladies and took a sip of my drink while awkwardly making eye contact (which by the way, please never do while sipping), my friends did also.
So the peer pressure was on, and since we exchanged a few smiles and I was feeling in my zone, I went for it.
CONFIDENCE LEVEL: MR. PITT
Dating is not the movies
Lowered the drink near pocket level to avoid spillage (cue Eminem music), waited for a gap in the crowd and began the swag walk over.
Step by step, playing out each quick option in my head.
“Hey, hows it going? You girls like Goa?”
You girls like Goa? WTF?
Easy enough I thought, but very generic.
But screw it, eye contact made and smiles exchanged, this would be easy enough to chat for a bit, impress the friends staring from their safe zone and then say bye and walk back, number in hand with the confidence of Oceans 11.
So I walk up and say “Hey Ladies, how are you?” and wait for the glory to begin.
They take a look at me, giggle, and turn around.
Confidence Level: Zero.
Dealing with Rejection is Normal.
I’ve been rejected before, and I’ve done the same to others for probably the same reasons. (e.g. I don’t find you attractive but I got to make something else up). Rejection I can handle, and it’s completely normal to be on both sides.
But the reason I write about this one now is that it sort of triggered off so many mixed emotions in my head.
I really have no recollection of what those girls looked like, but I clearly remember everything else.
Walking back embarrassed, laughing about it as my friends commended me on the effort, and then giggling to myself in the plane like a psycho as I thought of this blog.
But the main thought, the main confusion and main embarrassment in the moment was “What exactly did I miss?”
Was I too generic in how I said Hello? I mean clearly these girls are savants of passionate romantic authors like Milan Kundera (Unbearable Lightness anyone?) and introductions required much more than a simple “hi.”
Or am I really having an epiphany about bar culture thinking I was about to meet the love of my life at 3 AM in a crowded disco in the middle of Goa during Biker Week?
The answer to all of those questions is yes. And no. But more importantly, who gives a shit?
Spare me the horror (cue line from the movie Fashion)
If you’re confused, well you’re supposed to be.
Because that’s what growing up in pub/club culture is really all about.
Confusion. Misaligned expectations. And whole bunch of WTF moments.
None of us are really there for the music or good conversation, although we all enjoy being around people and knowing we picked the right place for the evening because “that’s where everyone else is.” So we each stumble through these nights acting/behaving in a certain fashion that creates a series of frustrating experiences like the one outlined above. The girls probably don’t care about dancing but do enjoy the selfies and having a night out, and the guys could give one shit about the DJ but are hoping to at least massage their egos as the night progresses.
Either way, this presents a huge set of problems for you and me.
Of the hundreds of nights out I’ve had with friends, I’ve probably spent 80/100 at a bar/restaurant/club. And out of the hundreds of weddings I’ve been to, I think 1/100 of those couples actually met as strangers in the night at a local pub.
The same is true for friendships, in that I don’t think I have a single close friend I initially met over a drink.
As a result, for a single bachelor or bachelorette, things get interesting with time.
When you’re 22 this world is exciting and full of promise.
You walk around full of confidence in whiskey form shoving your groin into anything that moves, thinking the girl will turn around and say “Oh my, what a gentleman you are.
Let’s go back to your hostel, I don’t even mind if it’s non-AC.”
When you’re 25, the hostel becomes a hotel (or your own apartment), and the cycle continues.
As you cross 30, full of disposable income but still trying to fill your social calendar, it becomes a bit easier to spot the gaps.
You realize many roads lead to the same place and you might be taking the one in need of some major repairs.
Guys and girls are both looking to meet people, date, travel, have shared experiences and live up their youth. You can do all these things but straying from the herd once in a while might be the way to do it.
We complain about movies and skip the bad ones.
We complain about government and involve ourselves as required.
With the modern dating/bar-hopping scene, try to make your own decisions as well.
Pubs are a great place to spend time with friends, but not an ideal place to make new ones.
Plato
We should complain about those too.
If I sound like some jaded loner who is just burned out with the status quo, that’s ok. I’d rather it be me than you. But as someone who has done great some months and terrible others on the social front, one thing I’ve realized is the system generally forces you to be something you’re not.
I grew up hearing the phrase “Nice guys finish last” even though that’s all I ever wanted to be.
Nice guys edit fast.
I like helping my friends and it brings me joy to see them happy.
If a girl texts me and my phone is nearby, God forbid I reply right away. (Wait two days? Dude, I got this slick haircut today and she needs to SEE IT NOW).
I also was a platinum member with the hotel brand the JW Friend Zone. But in my own personal experiences, only when I started to ignore the opposite sex did I find them no longer ignoring me.
I couldn’t entirely be myself cause the friend zone got boring, but I couldn’t come on too strong because that wasn’t who I was and there’s a very thin line between cool and creepy.
And frankly, most of us have no idea when we cross it.
I would love to ask the cute girl at Starbucks if she would like to get a coffee (Whoa…if you make a coffee date at a coffee shop did it just happen?) the way I hear it’s supposed to be done.
I’d love to swoon you off your feet on the dance floor or over tequila shots the way MTV showed me.
But honestly, all of that seems like a paradox these days. Men and women want a partner who’s planned yet spontaneous, sweet but has an edge, and competitive yet relaxed.
HUH?
CONCLUSION
When you play by the book you’re unoriginal, and when you try all the cool shit you realize the book is fiction.
Dave Chappelle once famously said that “Chivalry is dead and women Killed it.”
While the crowd immediately recognizes the joke and bursts out in applause, there is an obvious recognition of truth that cuts both ways for men AND women.
We live in a time where both genders complain about being single even though (technically) it’s never been easier to meet someone.
Technology killed our social interactions, we have dwindling attention spans, yada yada.
But when you’re spending your days learning to be yourself and then spending your evenings trying to be someone else, at which point do you step back for a laugh to realize how absurd it’s all become?
There was a time you could walk up to someone, smile, and tell them something polite. In fact, as far as I remember, that was what you were supposed to do. When that changed, I have no idea.
But if you can’t even do that anymore, what are you supposed to do?
In this post, I’m going to explain how to have a stand-up comedycareer in America or Australia or India (although the advice applies anywhere) and things you need to know AFTER you start getting on stage and have written a few jokes. If you haven’t even begun or are wondering how to do stand up comedy for the first time, I suggest you attend an open mic and then come back here. It’s a long post, but considering it’s the most viewed post on this site I guess we’re onto something. Thanks, friends.
I’ve been doing comedy across the world for years. having started in Orange County and Los Angeles, California.
Two years ago I wrote about the mistakes I see newer comedy market comedians (Singapore, Thailand, India, Malaysia) make all the time.
On the internet you cross borders, literally.
While a lot of that stuff seemed obvious in 2016 to a comic in LA or NYC, it was received well here and I got tons of questions from comics all over the world. Hell, some of those same comics who commented on that post are now doing great things.
Regardless, I was cleaning up my website and realized it’s been a while since I talked about standup comedy in ANY COUNTRY, what I’m seeing, what I think is happening and what my predictions will be on the trends and where I think it’s going.
Spoiler Alert: The audience is more important than your dumb Tinder story. Make them happy with original content and you’ll be happy.
If you’re interested please read on and I’m always more than happy to hear your feedback in the comments and/or social media.
I will discuss a few things that are India specific as I currently live here, but rest assured all of this will be helpful in kickstarting your comedy journey wherever you live.
I regularly do spots in NYC//SF/LA/Singapore/Hong Kong/Canada/Amsterdam and can tell you that comics are pretty much the same in any scene. Yes, New York sets are tighter, UK folks like dark humor, yada yada…but the business of comedy and the hustle are pretty much the same.
You have to be a sick individual to put yourself through this career.
Ok, I kid. This is comedy right?
I think engineering or medicine will be less painful, but ok, up to you.
We’re all trying to figure out how to write the perfect stand up comedy routine and more importantly (after you do a few mics you’ll know)…how to get people to watch it.
Regardless, no way are comedians more alike than, for most newcomers, instead of just going to an open mic and eating a fat one, they probably look for tips online on how to be a stand-up comedian in India or the UK or whatever.
So on that note, since you’re here…time some bitter truths.
LET’S GO!
1. You need to do Open Mics, they will get worse, and that’s OK.
As Indians, we often have a build first, think later mentality.
We see a formula for a movie or sketch or microbrewery or restaurant or app and we copy it and assume it will work. We bring it here and do it faster and cheaper.
With open mics, I’ve noticed (even my own advice) that the Book My Show listings have gotten out of hand. Everybody is listing an event…but, to be honest, that’s ok.
Comics need stage time and a normal byproduct of that is that audiences will get confused. “This show is Rs.150, but this one is Rs. 499 and the same comic is on both. Wait, what? What’s a trial show?!?”
Ahhh, finally we’ve arrived. This is a good problem to have.
As the years’ march on and comedy continues to grow, I hope people realize as in Europe and the US that just having a show isn’t good enough.
You need to make videos almost daily these days. The sitcom on a major studio days are over, time to play digital (when you’re ready).
Art takes effort and it’s dirty, unpolished and embarrassing. Comedians are the only ones who have to practice in public.
To stand out from the noise as a comedian and still be able to “practice your instruments”, you need to build something special so audiences can always be guaranteed a good time because that’s what they care about.
How to Organize a Good Open Mic so You’ll actually write a good stand up comedy routine?
Why do some comedians rise faster than others? It’s quite simple, they get on stage more. In fact, some comics I know get on stage more in a month than other comics get on in a year.
Who’s gonna do better?
So How do you start an open mic?
Invest in a brand, like “the South Indian Comedy Club.” that you can do in various cities or pubs.
Make a property like Tequila Tuesday Comedy Nights at Toit BrewPub (fictional example)
Differentiate your show, give free stuff, encourage audience participation, make a comedian have a beer before he goes up, read live tweets, whatever.
Focus on more audience, not more comedians. The comics will come…oh they’ll come.
Take good photos or videos of the crowd, ensure you’re maintaining a good FB page or IG.
Build buzz, pass flyers, make a FB event, learn how to market yet not spam.
Invite friends, walk on the pavement and pass out flyers an hour before the gig, put in the groundwork.
There is no stand-up comedy template, and existing joke structures like rule-of-3 and such are helpful in the beginning…but the closest thing you’ll get to a stand-up comedy template is the points above.
If you run a good room, you will GET GOOD FAST because you have 20 minutes of stage time a week that YOU OWN and *drumroll* a REAL AUDIENCE.
For the love of God, play upbeat music for the 30 minutes your audience is settling into the venue. Anyone who goes up to silence and doesn’t know how to set the tone for the room deserves to bomb.
If you build it they will still come but make sure you BUILD IT TO LAST.
Nobody gives a shit that you got a coffee shop to give you a corner room.
What are you doing to make sure an audience comes?
Why are you buying a coffee/beer to an empty venue and a wasted evening instead of putting that 300 INR in FB ads to promote it?
Why are seven comics standing by the door smoking cigarettes when they should be inside filling up seats, so the people who do peek inside to see if they should join don’t get intimidated by an empty venue and 7 strangers?
I mean if you don’t value your time, why would an audience member?
SA Aravind and me discussing stand up comedy and writing and of course ego is the frenemy.
2. the Low Hanging Viral Comedy Fruit is finally getting scarce.
I think most of us who started in the last eight years got a little lucky in that we got views on jokes which were probably not the most inventive, it’s just nobody had ever heard that stuff on stage before.
Indian mothers (I’m guilty) are like this, Flying is like that, Punjabis and Gujus are this way, Engineers are virgin, etc….. Now that the views have come and gone, you’re going to see that just putting a stand-up clip where you kill in a crowd isn’t enough. It has to offer a more personal point of view, more unique, AND crush as hard as the generosity of all the applause breaks of years passed. AND let’s be honest…do you really REALLY care that Delhi is so different from Mumbai?
I’m not saying don’t talk about your Mom, I’m just saying tell us a story, make it specific, and really think about if anybody else could tell the same story.
Also, one thing I’ve learned watching those who have really done well digitally the last few years, you HAVE TO BE consistent. (I wish I followed my own advice).
A million views on one video in a month can actually be worse than 250K views on 4 videos, 4 weeks in a row.
Try to write about things you haven’t seen anybody discuss on any YouTube videos before, and if you’re getting laughs, you’re on the right track.
3. Newer Comedians Need to Remember to live their lives
I know comics complain.
Man don’t we all.
In a country where it only matters that you did better than your neighbor…we compare…a LOT.
In fact, watch any cricket match at a bar and listen to the conversations around you. Many Indian businessmen are people who will never follow their dreams so they need to compare those who are following theres to feel better.
Sachin/Virat, Federer/Nadal and just one year in your comedy journey someone will say “He is trying to be a Russell Peter.”
Singular. Peter.
You know every comedian you see on Netflix has heard that last line?
It can get ugly.
I compare myself to myself. And I miss having less gray hair.
If I could shake myself in 2010 I’d say just focus on what you’re doing, not checking Facebook to see who is doing what.
I always tell people,
“if comics wrote even 5% of the time they complained, they’d have nothing to complain about because that 5% would get them a new hour every year.”
Newer comics ask me how I write, or what the principles of writing and performing stand up comedy are.
Principles? Huh?
I get it, you’re looking for any bit of ted talk wisdom to give you the secret sauce, but like bro…don’t steal jokes and try to write for 10 minutes a day about anything.
Even if it’s just 5 bullet points in your phone. Because that’s more than most.
But after you figure basic joke structure from watching 10 comedians and analyzing it 100 times with ur other open micers…all I can tell you is….
LIVE YOUR LIFE!
Instead of reading every tweet, or every insider blog or industry whispers….maybe, just maybe…spend that time hanging out with friends outside of comedy, go to the gym, take a walk, chill with your girlfriend or boyfriend…and DO STUFF.
Your audience does exactly that and they’re the one you need to relate to remember?
If you don’t go to the gym like they do, go on dates like they do, watch the shows they do, work like they do, unwind like they do…what exactly will you have to say to them?
4. Stand Up Comedy is WAY MORE than JUST being on stage, especially in 2019
One thing even I’ve changed my viewpoint on, and maybe I’m channeling my inner Gary Vee, is that the industry has changed across the world.
Going “Viral” in an age of constant scrolling doesn’t mean anything anymore. Hell, even this blog post might get a few head nods before the readers move on to something else.
Where’s that link to HOW TO DO DSLR PHOTOGRAPHY IN 2019 when you need it?
As comedians especially in India I still see so many people spending 5 hours around attending an open mic (traffic, hanging out, performing, eating, going home) and that whole time was simply in service of 10 minutes on stage.
WHAT ELSE CAN YOU DO IN THOSE 5 HOURS?
Were you learning video editing, PhotoShop, planning a podcast (and I mean actually scripting one), planning your social media posts for the week, writing a book maybe?
I’m not saying you won’t get famous just off of stand up, but I’m saying for most of us, you really need to stretch your creative muscles far beyond what you’re currently doing.
And you know I’m right.
Everything you do should be in service of getting on stage, don’t get me wrong.
You’ll need to practice making memes like this. They will get better with time tho.
The right clip or sketch or content gets you to the front of the line, but I wish comedians didn’t look down on social media people that are hustling in their own right.
If you can figure out social media, having a stand-up comedy background…the world is your oyster.
A YouTuber can’t do stand up, but a stand up who kills at YouTube has a very lucrative career.
Now to depress you even more:
Skills a Stand Up Comedian also needs in 2019
Video Editing
Motion Graphics
Podcasting
Social Media Marketing
Screenwriting
Blogging (Hi!)
Basic Web Design
Public Speaking
Story Telling
Copyrighting
Advertising
SEO
Digital Marketing
DSLR Film Making
YouTube Film Making (yes they’re different)
VLogging
Improvisation
Stage Production
Event Management
Crowd Control
Oh…and you also have to be great at writing jokes.
It’s midway through 2019 and trust me things have changed.
And in 2020 they might change again.
A lot of you have Instagrams and Facebook’s but don’t even have a website or a simple “Email me for Bookings” link.
WHAT THE FU*K!?!?!
5. Gatekeepers don’t really exist. Your content is the gate. ANYBODY can get 1M views online.
Any open mic in this country has comics discussing who got what show, what special, what deal, what video, etc…
Let me tell you something.
Even some of the comedians who have Amazon or Netflix specials might be broke (not just in India).
And many comics who don’t have those specials are doing just fine.
I have no clue who this kid is or if that’s even a real audience or mp3 laughter. But good for him, and this shows you the market is WIDE open.
It’s nice to be in a group or in an agency, but ultimately, your value is not dictated by any organization.
All you have to do is have some clever bits succeed (that’s the hard part) and then build a following online (that’s the harder part) and then consistently monetize that following (the hardest part).
Renting an auditorium or recording more sketches will come super easy once you’ve done that.
Sure it’s nice to get on a show or be in front of a crowd but every single comedian has performed for 5000 one night and 5 the next.
You’re in it for the long haul right?
NEVER let yourself think “If this comedian just gave me this opportunity” I’d be fine.
Once you get 5M views on your own video without that comedian’s help, he’ll be asking to be on your show.
6. Even the Best Stand Up Comedians Need to Take More Risks and Fail
Some of my good friends and hilarious/viral comedians are absolutely horrible at being funny on Instagram.
They can tell the jokes on stage, but beyond that, they really don’t do much. And trust me, they’re not too busy to learn the other skills. They just are banking on stand up, and that’s fine.
But at the same time, our industry in this country is putting its eggs in one basket.
Comics across the world are minting money on writing for ads, doing podcasts, handling corporate training, running their own rooms (even after getting famous).
Why aren’t we?
You were 35 when you started doing stand up, now at 45 you can’t talk into a mic on your laptop to discuss a few things?
Advice: You can work at Infosys and still become a famous comedian. Plus you’ll have a well-rounded life.
In fact, one great thing I see now is comics who have been protecting their position of “experience” now realizing newcomers are outshining them in a matter of a year or two.
As stage time gets more scarce I hope I see my fellow older comics (many of whom are now much more successful than me) continue to mentor, to blog, to write, to fail publicly and do things other than protecting an image they don’t realize they once weren’t so protective of. I love watching old Bill Burr clips, of him, even after he made it driving around and just rambling and seeing it peak at 20K views. And you know what, he didn’t give a fU*k.
7. Ego is the Enemy
One of the worst parts about the comedy boom, or any boom, is a lot of people attribute having luck with having talent. I’m sure it was true for the Gold Rush or the Dot Com Boom, and I’m sure it’s true for our Indian comedy boom.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m friends with all the comics we love and know, but I’ve had my own personal friends/colleagues act pricey with me for no reason. I even had a comic who I spent hours editing a video for, when he was fairly new, then tell me years later he doesn’t want to do my podcast cause “he’s not doing podcast these days.”
But that’s fine man.
I learned many years ago that you shouldn’t expect anything from anyone and everybody is going through their own struggles and way of doing things.
So if you’re running a room and a lot of comics burn up your stage but never get YOU on another stage, that’s ok.
Just keep doing you.
If you helped somebody get famous, congratulations on guiding that person to whatever their destiny was meant to be. You’re lucky you’re in a country where even a shitty open mic gets 10 people, so just please count your blessings and keep moving forward.
And if another 20 kids email you asking for advice…don’t be a dick, stop stalking that girl on Instagram and try to reply once in a while to people who can do nothing for you. Don’t go out of your way, but don’t be a jerk for no reason.
8. A Note on Indian Stand Up Comedy Earnings
Look…I get asked this question all the time and since four of you emailed me in the last 8 days asking, I’m jotting it down here.
Let me get one thing clear for those of you wondering how much Indian stand up comedians get paid.
Nothing for the first two to three years.
You hear me?
Sure, some comedians make 10K per show, a few make 10 lak per show, and a lucky few make much more.
But as with anything in life, if it were that easy, everybody would be doing it. In reality, if you expect money out of this you will burn out and quit much earlier.
Pro Tip: Don’t expect to get paid for your first three years, and if you keep a clear head with that, you’ll probably start making 3-5K per show after a few.
I run this room in Bangalore. The room is for the crowd, not for you. Tell them it’s starting in 15 minutes, take their feedback, as for video testimonials, and share their photos on social media.
I’m happy to see the market increasing, but I’m sure I speak for most comics when I say…all of us…beginner to veteran…could do a lot more than we’re currently doing. And if you’re new to comedy, you can get years ahead in a matter of months if you just PUT IN THE TIME, and EFFORT.
WRITE.
PERFORM.
STAY AWAY FROM DRAMA.
PUT DOWN THE BEER.
REPEAT.
Comedians make a living on calling out people who could do better.
Unfortunately I wish we did that to the mirror to.
If you’re struggling in your marriage with a tough mother-in-law this article might help you too ladies.
The modern Indian man is an interesting specimen.
A good portion of us fit very nicely into a neatly packaged box.
We grew up humble, studied and worked our way to a stable lifestyle, had a girlfriend or two, and now checklist our way through life’s remaining milestones.
Listen if you don’t want to read.
We each also have families that are far from perfect, but typically have far tighter bonds thanks to those same imperfections. One family might have the alcoholic uncle, another the shady businessman relative while another the drug-abusing nephew.
But regardless of each family’s “oh that thing they’re known for in gossip corners”, Indian culture, for the most part, is built on very strong family ties that stand the test of time to raise some pretty awesome people.
And one of the staples of Indian family dynamics is, as you might have already guessed…the Indian Mother.
I remember growing up in California and having friends (aka white people) come to sleepover. Their moms would drop them off at 6 PM, we would eat Cheetos, play video games, and then their moms would pick them up at 10 AM the next day while the smell of Aloo Puri would be happily escorting them out of our house.
Enjoy your pizza, Jason.
To them, it was a fairly routine hangout. To me, I was shocked.
How come their moms hadn’t called 50 times during the night?
Where were their snacks from home they might need in case our food wasn’t good or a tornado struck?
Why did I call Jason’s mom “Carol” instead of “Auntie?!?”
As a kid, this constant looking after and affection was something I first resented (“Stop embarrassing me mom!”), then grew accustomed to (“Where’s my socks mom!”) and now in my 30s, is something I’m sort of juggling with.
Desi Moms are the best and I have grown to respect and admire my own exponentially each year. She loves my brother and I to death. She treats her sons with a firm hand but only because she cares about us more than we can imagine.
But how does one find their place in the universe after being treated like the center for so long?What do these “grown men” do when they enter the world and nobody cares?
That’s sort of where I am in life right now, and I’m curious if you are too.
Why do our moms yell at our fathers for drinking too much, but think our girlfriends/wives are just stressing their precious boys if they think the same?
How much love is too much, and how much is not enough?
It’s an interesting dilemma, and I wish I knew the answer. They’re so many times when my mom stays with me (and I know I sound like a spoiled piece of shit) that I get upset she’s enabling me to take it easy because this is the age I need to get my ass in gear.
#trueStory
Breakfast? Sure, but I should have made it myself.
Oh, you’ll take care of the dishes? Thanks, mom, I’m gonna go relax and do important stuff like check Facebook.
While this is awesome (can’t lie), it indirectly enables a habit in each of us that may present problems later. I unknowingly yell at my mom all the time about lost things around the house or “Yes, for the 50th time, I’ll eat outside and don’t make anything!” and she has never once pointed out this shouting. (After which I’ll stumble home drunk, having forgotten to eat, and luckily she hears my cupboard banging and whips up something quick to eat).
It’s nothing malicious and more out of our loving-shouting- communication habit, but good luck speaking in that same tone with your future partner.
How to Detach a Husband from His Mother?
You don’t. You simply show the husband that being a good son and being a good husband are two different things and it’s his job to balance both.
A girlfriend or wife who looks at you on your phone while the dishes are still sitting on the table isn’t gonna tolerate things the same way your mom did. She might have also just sat in traffic, struggled at the office with her own politics and wants to veg out in food coma just like you.
But alas, that’s not always what beloved mama might think. In fact, the modern Indian mother in law is also, well…not so modern.
In fact I’ve seen couples where the guy stumbles home drunk and the mom looks at her daughter-in-law and says “How could you let him drink so much?”
Da Fuq?
I made this meme in 2016 but I feel it’s still apt here in 2048.
Learn to See Mom’s Bias
There are obviously 600 other things we could talk about, for the sake of simplicity, as you mature through life just try to keep this in the back of your head.
I’m no psychiatrist but I’m assuming whatever Freud alluded to had merit for him to be so famous that I randomly cite him now. None of us want to date our mom’s doppelgänger, but I think we can all fairly assume moms subconsciously program a certain expectation of how a woman “should be” that plays a part in our next phase of life.
Will it repeat with our girlfriends/wives for the next generation and the future sons, or is the new modern family dynamic going to change that? Time will tell but recognize this as you get older.
Your moms love you and you love them. They love being there for us (it’s probably a need that goes both ways) and I’m so happy I was raised in a culture that instills family values I’m only now coming to fully appreciate. But again, keep things in perspective as you go.
Life is tough, and while you’re a rockstar at home you’ll eventually need to learn how to be a rockstar outside of it where Mom is not enabling you to be king of the castle.
Mom material always works in India.
Mom Spoils the Son, then He Goes to Work and Realizes He’s Nothing
I remember at an office meeting years ago, a few clients were visiting from Canada and we got a last minute email that the client’s CEO was going to be joining.
All of a sudden, ties were required. No big deal.
One of the 40+ managers runs into my cubicle (I think I was 26 at the time) and he is visibly shaking. Like Palms sweaty, knees deep, mom’s spaghetti. (Hey! Eminem Mom Pun!) I look at him, sort of laugh (cause he looked like Milton from Office Space) and asked him what’s wrong?
Mothers can go from loving to sinister real quick.
He said he had no idea how to tie a tie, because (and I quote)…
”Mummy always did it.”
40 Year old IT Senior Manager
Tied his ties.
At 40.
So me, being the smart/suave US educated independent man I was, naturally did what any NRI who thinks he’s better would do. I grabbed the tie with my American swagger, smiled at little bunty/puthar crying in the corner about his incomplete Windsor and saved the day by doing what I had been trained to do since college:
I googled it.
Hungry? What wait…grab a Punjabi mother.
CONCLUSION
There is nothing wrong with a family that cares for you, and caring for them back.
The unwritten agreement in most Desi communities is the parents take care of you into adulthood, and you take care of them the rest of the way. And that’s completely fine.
But a lot of times we sort of overlook the major part of life that you and I are now headed. I know many people aren’t fortunate enough to have parents that love them as much as some of us, and I will cherish my mom till my last breath.
WhatsApp forward LOL. (Comment if you know source).
But I just wanted to discuss this because it’s something I see people dealing with. (Also ladies, those of you who call mom or dad on every little adult problem, even at 40…we’ll get to you another day.)
As always, if you have something constructive to say please do so below.
Hugs to you and your mamas.
And to my mom who raised us alone since I was 13, if you figured out your MacBook and are reading this, I love you.
And I’m hungry. But I’ll help myself.
If you want to know more, we went straight into it at the thirty second mark a few years back.
Varun Agarwal is quite a celebrity in Bangalore, the young entrepreneurial startup world (e.g. guys who watch TVF Pitchers and Silicon Valley) and also in the digital and film space.
Although he’s doing a lot, we do make time to hang out and recently he stopped by the Birdy Num Num podcast to discuss:
creativity,
mistakes young Indian entrepreneurs continue to make
and the whole follow your passion debate.
I also thought I’d jot down my five favorite videos of his, including many we’ve done together.
Mainly because I see a lot of motivational and entrepreneurial fluff by people who don’t understand creativity and communication. But also we can chart both his and my progress over the years by the content we produce. And just like in life, sometimes you go backwards.
But that’s ok, even though the fake motivators don’t tell you that.
Yes you can start an app, yes you can follow your dreams…but most of those people are only successful at books on the exact same topic…e.g. Listen to me tell you how to be successful because I’m only successful at telling people how to be successful…not that I’ve built a successful restaurant or clothing business.
Lessons to Learn from Entrepreneur Varun Agarwal
We met in 2014 when he approached me to help write one of India’s first truly viral videos, the Anu Aunty Engineering Anthem. We’ve had the pleasure of being buddies ever since.
Varun Agarwal on Engineering and Anu Aunty
In 2014 sometime around September Varun approached me to work on writing a song for the jaded engineers of our beloved India. Since I had done plenty of similar work on the IT Guy series, and we both lived in Koramangala, the startup center of Bangalore, I figured why not.
Most videos get stuck on the planning shelf for a while, we jumped right in and of course cast a then little known Sumukhi Suresh.
It was also my first time shooting on a fancy camera with director Sam Mohan (who know has helped make Emiway famous by shooting much of his work).
The video quickly picked up 1M views (a lot back in those days) and made us mini-celebrities in India for a while.
It also taught me very quickly that in this game, short term success means nothing (which we discuss in my podcast below).
This was shot in one and a half days. Imagine.
Having a Startup
Despite that, Varun continued to parlay his experience into speaking and see how that could help grow his brand.
Most talks on the Indian TedX circuit can be a bit fluffy, but as you can see by his casual jeans and straightforward attitude, this is anything but.
Real advice for real results. And almost 4M views as of July 2019.
WOW. Another lesson for creators, update your thumbnails.
Ted Talks and INK Talks have become a sort of motivational porn these days also, where in India we see one format in the west and then beat it to death.
So after viewing a bunch of clips, I was inspired to take the stand-up comedy sketch angle and make the following which Varun was a good sport about…
Varun Agarwal on Millennials
Hey bro, I have a startup that writes about other startups that are starting up.
Confucius
Eaves drop on any conversation in a StarBucks in Koramangala in Bangalore (because Cafe Coffee Day is whack bro) and you’ll hear people with million dollar ideas but 10 rupee execution.
So we took a dig at that whole world of what motivates the motivator.
This was an idea I had after watching a documentary about hipsters, and I shot/edited/released it in a matter of a few days. And sometimes, for the future creators..that’s all it takes rather that months of planning and writing on one single thing.
Which brings me to our journey together in 2019, after 5 years of being friends and colleagues.
The funny thing about our world is even if things look super successful on the outside, they’re anything but.
I can’t speak for Varun but I know if I was still working at Accenture now, I’d probably be making more than doing this whole creative thing on my own.
Whether it be youTube sketch writing, stand up comedy, film making or blogging, things come and they go.
But as I discuss with Varun finally on my podcast over water bottles (and not beers for once)….you need to really be into something for the long haul, so when you hate it, you still secretly need it.
Check out the full audio podcast and the youTube snippet below.
5. Varun Agarwal | the one Mistake an Entrepreneur Makes
Please do have a listen to the 3-minute snippet and let me know your thoughts below.
Do you think most startup people talk the talk or walk the walk?
Are they addicted to the result or the actual journey? And for the video creators, what can you learn from your work?
Conclusion
Varun Agarwal has become the poster boy for Indians who want to do something else other than what society programs us to do. It’s fine to do engineering and medicine if you really want to, but many people don’t follow their dreams and then wake up at 40 to unhappiness and fancy cars.
What’s your ideal mix of a successful, fulfilling and happy life for the ambitious Indian man or woman?
I started much of the stand-up comedy wave in India and Bangalore with Praveen Kumar and Sundeep Rao back in 2010, and although I don’t attend the open mic’s as much anymore, I’m happy to see what has become of the scene.
Well, mostly.
Indian comedy clubs are opening up everywhere, audiences are hungry for fresh, unique content and with so much diversity that is India there is honestly a joke for ANYTHING.
Indian Stand Up Comedy and Bangalore’s Role
Bengaluru has the most stand up comedy nights in the country and has set the tone for how the rest of the nation operates.
In fact it has the most diverse crowds in the country, as comedy crowds in Bangalore speak English, Hindi, Kannada, Tamil and more.
Bangalore has the most comedy shows in the country.
Amazon Prime and YouTube are also giving more exposure to Indian stand up comedians from all walks of Indian life, whether Punjabi, Tamil, Bengali, Kannadiga and of course English.
Canvas Laugh Club is also a household name despite some legal troubles and its unique backdrop has quickly been cemented as the signs of a video to watch, much like the Hollywood Laugh Factory did in California.
South India is the Best Place for English Comedy in India
It’s nice to see the comedy scene growing, and comedians from Mumbai and Delhi and Chennai are constantly coming down here (even though our travel from the airport to the city longer than their flight from Mumbai).
I personally enjoy the market in Bangalore as it’s predominantly English which is great for in-person shows, corporate events, and diverse crowds… yet tough online in the Hindi dominating Indian digital space.
So I thought I’d start keeping a list of the best comedy videos for Indian stand up that I see month to month.
But first, for the Indian comedy newbie…
What is Stand Up Comedy?
For this post, Stand up comedy in India is defined as:
live crowds who aren’t part of a TV-set,
a mix of English and whatever language,
hecklers,
avoiding hack jokes, yet obviously exploring topics like MBA, engineering, porn (if you have a clever take), clean family-friendly jokes and pretty much anything that gets Indians to giggle and probably share funny videos on Whatsapp.
bars and comedy clubs,
YouTube and podcaster style comics.
And lastly, the comics in this list are folks who know legendary names like Carlin, Chris Rock, Chappelle and so on.
I’m defining Stand up Comedy in this country not as what you see Raju Srivasta or Kapil Sharma do nightly, but more along the lines of Vir Das, Netflix, and the Western-Indian style of stand-up comedy. Those guys are also great but generally operate in a different space and market. (And it’s probably more lucrative too) than what I know personally.
Regardless, although YouTube has yet to be kind to comics who remain in Namma Bengaluru, here are my favorites desi comedians from the city that I also think have some of the best videos in India.
I will continue to update this list so if you have any suggestions do let me know in the comments.
The beauty of stand up comedy as we saw from that Bassi cheating clip recently, is anybody, and I mean anybody who puts in the effort can leverage the democracy that is the internet.
Those who have been doing it for 1 year can quickly perform at a level of someone doing it for 10, and if you can hit a chord with your audience you will be rewarded.
Sundeep Rao is probably the funniest comedian in India you’ve never heard of. He’s partially blind yet fully dirty, although this clip not very adult, hence I’m putting it on this list.
As an NRI I also find this comedy hilarious and accurate AF. After the whole #howdyModi event this clip is even more relevant.
Although Aditi is not from Bangalore, she calls every time she wants to do some workshop here and has an affinity for our crowds so I’m putting her on the list.
She’s one of the top comics in the country who actually puts her money where her mouth is and doesn’t let high view count misguide her into thinking she’s done learning, which I just LOVE LOVE LOVE.
Keep going, dude. This bit about shopping as a woman for bras is just packed with punches and nuances and of course, her signature act outs so enjoy!
And the fact that some of the comments are negative from guys who don’t get it is just proof that Aditi is a pioneer and hustler who has a thick skin, as we all need to.
In India, if you follow your dreams, you parents will use your dreams to kill your dreams
Rupen on sports quota for medical students.
I used to confuse Rupen with Shridhar because they’re both such clean-cut kids if that makes sense. But my favorite line of the year comes from this set, which you should watch but is basically:
This video with some super clever insights any kid who is interested in stand up comedy about engineering or IIT or an MBA would easily relate to, and the writing is very well done.
There is arguably no better physical comedian in India that I personally know.
Actor turned funnyman Vamsidhar Bhogaraju’s most hilarious video moments happen when he says nothing.
Not many comics (myself included) can be the loudest with silence, and Vamsi does just that with his facial expressions and physical gestures.
This stands up comedy act out about Swiggy and landlines is hilarious from a live stand up comedy show in Indiranagar, Bangalore.
You probably recognize Vamsi from this video in your WhatsApp over the years.
An ex marketing manager who knows acts in films and can do both funny and serious roles, in this clip Vamsi tells jokes about heartbreak and experience in wrong numbers everybody in Bangalore can relate to.
Aside from having to google his last name to figure the spelling right, Shridhar works hard, still has a day job and is so PUNNY with his tweets I can’t help but admire his hustle.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s0kGuTVXvb8
He’s also grinding in a way I like to see comedians grind, with a series called Prime Time jokes where he smartly talks about current events that can quickly be written about, delivered and released.
Mark my words, he’ll be a big name on Indian twitter and amongst the “intelligent political” comedy crowds because of his take on humor you’ll likely find based on Times NOW or CNBC.
Just yesterday he got to open up for friend Kunal Kamra, who ironically probably looks the most opposite on stage to well dressed Shridhar.
Well done buddy.
6. Atul Khatri – On the UK (Netflix)
Atul Khatri is the 50-year-old who has two kids and started comedy at 42.
He’s proof (and I know first hand) that older guys with limited time (in the day I mean) are way more productive than younger guys who just complain about comedy or art or whatever.
You can see Atul Khatri doing stand up comedy Netflix and also all over YouTube, and check him out on Twitter at his handle One_by_two.
He cracks some funny jokes about growing up in defense family also, but more so gives insights into the unique comedy culture of the south and train journeys between Bangalore and Chennai. Very relatable and highly hilarious.
I’ve known him forever, but nobody invents himself more and more than Praveen Kumar.
Early on Praveen had a hard time getting accepted into the cliques in Mumbai, even though he was one of the first to perform at Canvas, which was then owned by the London Comedy Store.
This a Tamil clip but check out his channel for all the other English.
From English stand up comedy to clean comedy to Tamil clean comedy to now Tamil clean comedy and movie reviews and Comicstaan, the number of haters and idiots who gave Praveen stuff in the early day’s of comedy would have made me quit years ago.
In fact, most comedians who struggle still do.
Now he’s doing better than ever as a judge on Comicstaan Tamil (and has mentored the judges on the main Comicstaan) and well-done bro.
So happy for you.
But aside from the bromance, the main reason I dropped CPK on this list is that….he holds the record in Indian comedy for most viral video over an hour.
AN HOUR!
Who would have thought doing a full one-hour special comedy video in Tamil would get nearly 3M views!!!!! Big ups to Evam stand up Tamasha for producing this great video for him.
Kritarth has a wonderful stand-up segment on balding as a young Indian dude and any fan of Indian stand up comedy who struggles with hair loss, shampoos, parents and more will love this comedy bit from Bangalore.
Any young middle class guy who is worried about male pattern baldness or losing hair can probably related to this, whether they want to take finpecia or not.
10. Aravind SA | Why Tamilians Don’t Speak Hindi
7M views not too shabby.
Aravind SA was on my podcast here but also a funny dude who captured the South Indian comedy market well.
He’s one of the top South Indian stand up comedians also and is the leader against the Hindi being the national language voice. Good for you bro!
SA Also had various shows on Amazon Prime and tours the world performing for South Indians all over.
11. Saikiran | Dark Skin and Marriage
I’ve never met Saikiran but this is probably the most viewed video for Indian English stand up comedy and good for him.
Glad the material resonated well and considering he hasn’t uploaded much else it stands to show this is a truly viral clip.
Well done dude!
Conclusion
They’re many English stand up comics in Bangalore and India but these are just some of my favorites.
If you’re a fan of the North Indian style of comedy, you’ll likely not prefer these folks as someone like Vipul Goyal or Zakir Khan, but the beauty of comedy, just like ice cream, is there is a flavor for literally everyone.
As a groom and a stand-up comedian what a whirlwind weekend having a big fat wedding can be. I’ve wanted to write about it for a while but didn’t know what to say. They’re plenty of tips and tricks style articles on the internet aboutIndian weddingsand Western Weddings but I wanted to take a fresh approach on what makes it truly a good experience as a bride a groom in any wedding where you’ll probably have more than 100 guests all there for you.
How Do You Enjoy Your Own wedding?
So how do you enjoy your wedding? I’ll explain it all below and tactically what I mean, but in a nutshell, you need to expect that things WILL go wrong or late and you need to be present. That’s really it.
And one major tip I’ll end this post on.
You ready?
What Nobody Tells About Wedding Planning
Billion-dollar industries exist on wedding preparation, but very few talk about wedding execution. It sounds so silly that we work out, research and train but then rarely focus on playing the game. Mainly because with weddings there is usually only one game per life but I mean hey, it still counts to have fun playing.
There’s a joke I remember during our Indian wedding planning experience I kept cracking.
My wife never laughed but I still like it.
“Oh you thought this wedding was about US? no no no, it’s for everybody else.”
Intelligent Uncle.
But I love that.
And to enjoy a wedding, you need to focus on everybody else, but also internally…you need to EXPERIENCE your wedding.
As Daniel Kahneman in the NYT Bestseller Thinking Fast and Slow says…you have two selves.
The experiencing self and the remembering self.
A movie that’s 99.9% amazing with a crap ending lets the remembering self ruin the experiencing self because all you’ll remember is that the ending sucked. The memory is all you got and you don’t care that you were on the edge of your seat and laughing/focused for two hours. You just care that you’ll remember the entire experience based on the ending…it sucked.
Using that to recall my own wedding…although we had our own minor hiccups with girls running late and a few food items off from what we ordered (every wedding does)…I remember that luckily I planned to slot in some free time for myself, my wife and my friends and that made ALL the difference.
Being Present Doesn’t Mean Namaste Although It Does Mean More Than Hello
All the planning, all the expenses (where’s that cry emoji when you need it), all the family fun, love, drama (Indian no wedding is complete without it) came and by in a flash.
But in those moments, I made it a point to:
chat with friends I hadn’t seen,
family I was getting to know,
dance to music we were paying a bomb for,
sneak a bite at someone’s table,
take a drag, umm swig of that drink…
and just find time to just sit in the corner and take it all in.
I had a few heart to hearts, cried a good chunk and just realized how lucky I was to be able to experience this experience.
People might see you sitting alone or eating your feed for 40 seconds by yourself…but you SHOULD do that. You’re paying thousands of dollars for flowers so yes…hell yes…stop and smell the roses.
Does that make sense?
We totally forgot to eat all that amazing food we ordered, and you probably will to by the way.
It’s 2019, both my wife and my family are “woke” and modern, but now that a few months have passed I realize more and more, that more than the fireworks, the alcohol and the food….I was just having a good time in the MOMENT.
So my advice to you is:
ENJOY IT.
How to Be Present at Your Wedding
For the love of God…do whatever you have to do to prepare how to be PRESENT.
Meditate. (meaning, learn to sit without your phone and just look at the wall for 10 minutes a day).
Work out.
Learn to let things go. Decorator adding 5% or a last minute RSVP/cancellation came in? Cool, you’ll figure it out.
Practice dancing and getting on stage at some local open mic or toastmasters for your speeches.
Ignore that the hotel just charged you $600 for towels you ruined in the Mehendi.
It all doesn’t matter in the long run.
During the Hindu or Christian wedding ceremony (or whichever you do)…actually, close your eyes and enjoy the priest’s chants and fire from the ceremony in front of you.
Breathe it in bro-bro.
You will constantly be pulled in various directions. Photographers and makeup people will take up all your newlywed’s time when you’re not at the events you’re paying for.
You will be so overwhelmed you will actually look like this by the 80th “pose for” photo.
But you’re not there for your make-up artists Instagram page OR missing an hour of your reception because you need to take glamour shots outside by the moonlight (do that later).
What good is showing up and looking gorgeous in photos if all you remember when you see those photos are how the band stopped an hour after you entered, and you barely said more than “Hi/Hello” to anybody?
The Biggest Free Hack That Makes EVERYBODY ENJOY YOUR WEDDING
Most couples at weddings, especially those above 100 people seem so busy with EVERYONE that in reality, they’ve spent quality time with no one.
Your friends (even your best friends) think you want to be with family, your family thinks you want to be with friends or your partner, and then aside from selfies and dancing superficially, real connections and bonds aren’t really exercised aside from the shot at that bar.
So what I tell all my friends to do now, and I’m glad we did at our wedding to actually make ourselves enjoy it.
Talk to each guest for 180 seconds.
3 Minutes.
After a minute and the selfie, it has to get real. They’ll say something like “Ok I’m sure everybody is asking for your attention I’ll let you get back to it” but in reality where do you have to go? THIS is the reason we’re all here right?
But 3 minutes is a long time at the moment, and your college roommate who once upon a time you were best friends with will cherish that moment for a while.
Now do those 3 minutes with 50 other groups of people and you’re good.
CONCLUSION
Everybody talks about the food, the customs, the pictures, the decoration. Once you have that all figured out, please come back here and read this again.
As I mature into my thirties, they’re two things that I’ll always regret.
1. Not starting stand up comedy earlier
Mainly because I was embarrassed of eating shit in front of my friends.
I thought I would bomb and they would tell me to quit, even though we know now that NOBODY does well at the start and you have to keep pushing at it.
Eventually I did try it about 10 times without telling a soul and failed nine out of those ten times.
By then, I was a bit older with fewer college friends around and a smaller support system of jobless buddies you have when you’re younger.
I was 26, nervous, voice shaking and in envy of a 21-year-old that commanded the stage who started when he was 18. He had the balls to take risks earlier and get a three-year head start whereas I was still trying to figure out how I would hide my open mic attendance on Facebook so my friends wouldn’t come.
Don’t get me wrong – I had a job and financial responsibilities so I didn’t have the luxury to jump into art or a startup type field right away – but looking back I know I could have done both.
You’ll always have time to do the important things.
I was honestly just scared of being judged, embarrassed and failing at something.
The thought of awkwardly making conversation with my friends after I tanked on stage was actually scarier than going on stage itself.
2. Being nervous to ask girls out by simply saying “Hey, do you want to go out?”
I always knew something was off here, I mean…this is 51% of the population. Why does literally “every other person on planet earth” feel more intimidating than an interview with Elon Musk?
Why do we have to grab their attention through social media likes and glances at parties instead of just saying “Hi.”
It was surprising, even after joining the comedy world, where I was doing shows for 20, 200 or 2000 people – I was still nervous to ask a girl out for coffee, often times my insecurities about rejection being my own worst enemy.
So when I finally decided to risk putting myself out there I was shocked that girls actually said yes. And then I kept trying that – and realized wow, this was all in my head.
ASK ASK ASK
Damn you Hollywood and Bollywood and pop culture for confusing the fu*k out of me.
Everybody is scared to admit that they’re looking for something that everybody is looking for.
Online dating was something you’d get made fun of for when you were younger (as opposed to seeking the approval of a stranger whom you met at a noisy bar by chance) and now it’s the norm. I’m happy where I am and not saying I wished a had a girlfriend earlier, but I could have saved a lot of time and mindless braincells trying to ask a girl out directly instead of trying to approach her while drunk at some bar. (Shut up, you know you’ve done it once).
This was a fun TedX Talk
Do you see the similarities here?
So much of life is dictated by what others will think of us.
In fact, we spend more time wondering what people will think rather than trying to accomplish things that will get them thinking about us in the first place.
And that’s a massive problem.
It’s analysis paralysis. Pandoras box.
Why do you HONESTLY care what other people think?
Moore’s law in engineering says (roughly) that the cost of computing will go down as performance goes up (e.g. your iPhone will get smaller/cheaper while speed increases). Well similarly in life, your number of friends will get smaller and your regrets/failures will increase as you think about that circle of people you were so worried about pleasing, many of whom are now just random blips on your newsfeed.
You don’t want to try that startup, ask that person out, switch that career, attempt that certification, pursue that hobby or ask for that raise…because you don’t want people to react by your bold new moves. And if you don’t try and take risks and make attempts to accomplish whatever it is you’re looking for – well…they’ll probably never react at all.
There is a quote I tried googling for (please comment if you know the real one and I’ll update it) that went along the lines of:
When I was in my twenties, I cared about what the world thought of me.
When I was in my thirties, I didn’t care about what the world thought of me.
When I was in my forties, I realized the world never thought about me at all.
Unknown even to Google.
I often get teased by my friends about the stuff I do online, especially the missteps.
“Dude, what the hell was that last YouTube video about?? It was so lame.” OR “Dude, your snapchats are all of your dogs or donuts. I don’t care.”
And you know what, sure, I’m happy to take criticism and I appreciate those comments. It’s a bit sneaky but in entrepreneurship, that’s what friends are for sometimes…A free focus group so you can improve on things. Thanks guys for letting me use you 🙂
Feedback is important, and if you launch a product or service and everybody hates it, sure…you should probably care what people are thinking and saying.
That sort of thinking, I’m on board with.
Trust me – this was embarrassing.
However, on the flip side (you knew I was going to try to prove my own point) they’re a bunch of people who will make comments like these because they’re projecting their own insecurities.
They crop/filter/hide every single Facebook or Instagram photo.
They monitor every status, every comment, every perception of themselves both online and offline.
When you’re in the moment and take a good snap, all they care about is how they looked and then you end up being an Executive Director having to take 5 different takes of the same group photo, until their shot is right.
You’ve seen the uncle at the beach with his paunch hanging out that’s the life of the party, and you’ve seen the self conscious guy/gals hiding in the corner acting like they’re enjoying reading their books while checking their 100 likes on Instagram, while not enjoying the moment.
Which one, at the end of the day, would you really enjoy being?
Ideally – maybe try and be both?
It’s ok to care what people think.
But don’t get scared at what people might think.
See the difference? Real life is #noFilter.
To be clear, I’m not saying live your life with an “I don’t give a shit” attitude. You should take advice and criticism openly – because it only makes you better.
But hindsight is 20/20, and the same people who might tell you that’s a bad idea or you’re not good enough are the same ones who will pat you on the back when you do succeed.
Welcome to life, this is how it actually works.
Your friends are not evil, but them not wanting you to risk failure is a failure in itself.
Many years ago I was sitting on the couch with my girlfriend at the time, hearing her yell at me about something I don’t even remember. I was just looking at the wall pretending to pay attention when she immediately got wind of my daydreaming and said “yada yada your mother…yada yada yada….Sanjay WHAT DID I JUST SAY?!?”
“Ummm, you were talking about my mom and err…..Look, I’m a nice guy. A good person. I can’t fight over this.’
“Excuse me? Fight over what?”
“Well, to be honest…nothing.”
Funny, but dangerous.
Are You a Nice Guy?
As self-serving as that statement may sound (and trust me, I know it sounds horrible), I’m proud to admit that I’m a nice guy.
I don’t mean nice in a I’m better than you sort of way.
I mean I’m nice like…I’m relaxed. Low maintenance. Easy going. And more often than not, even in those moments when you’re supposed to be selfish, like asking for a raise or getting the upper hand in business, success or romance with women (or men), I honestly don’t give a fu*k.
Does the World Care About Nice People?
We live in a world that appreciates people who are selfish. Trust me, I know. So do you. You’ve seen it and you’ve lived it.
Even the origin of the phrase “Nice Guys Finish Last” was meant to promote a victory in sports rivalries, which surprise surprise was based in New York. *cough wolf of Wallstreet cough*
When you answer that girl’s SMS/Whatsapp/Snapchat the second you see it, she thinks you’re desperate. When you hold off or actually get busy and don’t give a shit, you’re rewarded by becoming the predator from the prey.
The reward system of life encourages us to be selfish in many places, contrary to popular opinion. Every business uses terms like being cutthroat, being cocky, being aggressive and PLAY TO WIN.
All of us know this.
All of us take part in it.
Each of us is competitive with the other in these little social ecosystems we’ve all built for ourselves.
I’m guilty of it, and I’m only now recognizing it.
I used to think if this person did well in comedy or got a better show or a better video, it meant I wouldn’t. If my buddy pulled the most amazing girl at work, I was pretty much out of luck. We get so caught up in our little worlds and think that life is a zero-sum game (e.g. If I got the BMW, that means you won’t). It’s easy to think that way, but I’m here to tell you that when you step out of your bubble and look from the outside in, it’s far from reality. When you write “Happy Birthday” on someone’s Facebook and they don’t reciprocate back, you know who cares about that little battle you just think you lost?
NOBODY.
So rather than trying to climb over everyone to hit the top of your mountain (and stress yourself out along the way)…maybe, just maybe…it’s time to embrace life as a nice guy.
Not necessarily because being nice is what your teacher told you. But because being selfish is honestly too much work.
Some guys just can’t look mean.
If you’re the guy (or girl) who is always putting your friends or loved ones before yourself and didn’t expect them to return the favor, your life might actually become easier when you help others without expectation.
You won’t sit around waiting for karma (who is never on time by the way), you won’t keep a mental record of every good deed you did and to be honest, you’ll probably be a lot happier with your place in life given the new equation.
Being nice with expectations isn’t really being nice at all.
It’s a false notion of patting yourself on the back because you’re secretly waiting to be rewarded down the line, and you’re going to stress yourself out when it doesn’t happen.
Nice guys finish last.
Assholes finish first.
But it’s easier to be yourself than trying to pretend to be the badass you think you need to be.
I’ll happily answer your text because 90% of the time, my phone is next to me. Setting an alarm to reply back to you in two hours or two days, is honestly just not worth it.
If you read this whole thing and need to hear it again with an American accent.
Nice guys do finish last, but maybe that’s the point. I’d rather reach the top of the mountain with my friends (even if they go there first) rather than go at it alone, wondering where the hell everybody is.
Secondly, nice guys do finish last…but they do eventually finish.
And I guess in some areas in life (dirty joke intended), finishing last might not be a bad thing.
Note: If you’re not Indian, most of this stuff still applies across comedy scenes in the US, Canada, Australia the UK, Singapore and beyond.
Want to know How To Start Stand Up Comedy In India or Anywhere?
I moved to India almost six years ago, when I was just a year into stand up comedy. My main experience at the time was from the small pubs and coffee shops in Southern California, whereas the song goes we all “Started from the Bottom.”
After having done thousands of open mics, pub shows, theaters and corporate events in the country as well as having worked with, mentored and shadowed hundreds of other comics, familiar patterns start to emerge.
Since comedy is booming in a place that can benefit greatly from laughing at ourselves, I thought I’d take a second to jot down a few conversations that repeat themselves almost daily with fellow comedians pan India.
If you’re new to comedy (or even a few years in), I hope some of this advice can resonate with a few of you. Because while comedy is funny, there is nothing funny about the funny business.
It’s pretty damn serious.
1.) Not Recording Your Set. And then WATCHING IT.
We’re very lucky that we live in a time that allows us to have a computer, camera and tape recorder in our pocket.
As comics this is invaluable since you need to be listening to your sets to know what worked and what didn’t. It also gives you a word for word record of how you did a joke in case it destroyed, so that helps you figure out how to recreate the magic later rather than trying to play it from memory.
So many comics don’t do this, but there is honestly no reason not to.
It’s painful, but while you’re stuck in traffic on MG Road on the way home it only takes 4-5 minutes to listen to yourself and make your adjustments to get better.
What else are you really doing with that time anyway?
Chances are you’re gonna smoke up and do the exact same set the next day, so you may as well hear what the audience did to give you a few ideas on what to change next.
I did this joke for 2 years, and then once I listened to it in the uber on the way home the second part (server issue) came to me.
Comics in New York/LA often record their sets from a 7PM open mic, listen to it on the way to an 8PM showcase, and then repeat that as they go to a 10PM show and have already made 2-3 adjustments to the joke.
Since stage time is less plentiful in India, it’s important you at least try doing the same here to maximize your progress.
People will say “But Bro it’s so hard to watch myself.” or they’ll ask the host (who is running around doing 20 things) “Dude can you stand still and record my stuff for 5 minutes.”
If you can’t bear to watch yourself, how do you expect others too?
Shaking my Head Bruv.
And aside from the host, asking other comics to record you and vice versa is also a great way to network amongst yourselves, help each other out and build comradery amongst your ranks.
Dwayne has crushed a few times in India.
2.) Insulting the audience for no reason/Doing Crowd Work Before You’re Ready
Did you bring the audience to the pub or cafe you’re at?
Did you promote it on Facebook, invite people, and organize the event with the manager, DJ, etc..?
If you didn’t you’re probably being given a chance to try your interest by the person who did and you have no place being a dick to someone who is supporting the comedy (whether audience or comic who organized).
If you get heckled, learn from the experience rather than acting like you’re doing anyone a favor by being up there.
It’s a great way to look unprofessional since early on you won’t have adequate comebacks and will burn bridges with the other comics who are now going to have to deal with an uneasy audience.
Russell Peters can do it because the audience knows him for that, he’s famous and he’s spent 20+ years getting to deserve that. You haven’t. And honestly, as Indians we are generally very polite and well-mannered in these upmarket bars and cafes where most comedy is currently taking place, and 90% of the time I see an open micer or newcomer go after an audience member it was an overreaction stemming from the comics insecurity of being up there rather than a malicious audience member.
Learn when to do it, but more importantly, learn when not to.
Biswa insulting
3) Using Celebrities (e.g. “Name Dropping”)
“Man, the new Hyundai i20 is terrible. It’s like the Tusshar Kapoor of hatchbacks. Am I right people?”
Was that a joke about Hyundai’s or driving or was it just the equivalent of “George Bush is stupid.” as a punchline?
It’s ok to talk about celebrities and use common references, but when trying to explore a topic, look for obvious problems and funny/ironic things about the situation. These jokes might get you easy laughs but they’re not going to stretch your comedic mind to think about things from a different perspective.
Nobody is going to be waking up in the middle of the night thinking "hehe, man, when that comic said the situation in the middle east was more complicated than Anil Kapoor's chest hair, wow, what an insightful comedy yaar."
If you have a joke about celebrities or notable figures, keep it about that.
What did they do, why is it weird, what really bugs you about the situation.
But if you have no opinion on the person and are just using their name to get a laugh from the audience, is there any honesty or originality in what you’re trying to say?
4) Only Sticking to Stereotypes
Gujus are cheap, Punjabi’s are drunk, South Indians are dark (although, not really), Guys named Sanjay are so handsome…yada yada.
I understand you’re nervous just looking for approval, as I’ve been there and done the same.
You should talk about what you want to talk about, but don’t make community jokes basis for your whole performance. It’s getting laughs because everybody already knows it, and since it was so easy for you to write and talk about these stereotypes it’s going to be just as easy for the next person.
How are you going to perform your set in Mangalore about drunk Surdy PJ uncles to a crowd of all South Indians? Do they care about Punjabi culture or would they instead like to hear humor about marriages, corporate life, filter coffee or who knows?
And what are you going to do when the last 5 guys before you did similar bits about Air India is all fat aunty air hostesses and now you have nothing new to add for the crowd?
Stereotypes are fine if you have a fresh/original twist on the idea, but don’t ONLY do them.
They’re a good tool to have when you have a certain audience that just wants to hear that stuff, but try to write jokes about life in general also. India is such a unique place with a bunch of cultures mashed together, so it’s fine to talk about these things if nobody has pointed them out before, but try to just keep this in mind as you push forward and want to stand out.
5) Putting out your first whole clip online
When you start doing comedy, you probably start posting about comedy.
You change your profile picture immediately to that DSLR shot your friend took holding the mic, you post senti status updates about being an artist and your friends start saying things like “Machaa YouTube clip pls.”
While this can be exciting, you forget the fact that you probably still suck.
Your friends will naturally be supportive and probably laughing in the audience, but that’s probably where it will stop. Chances are your jokes aren’t finished, the false ego-boost will make you think this is easier than you think (How many shitty cell phone clips of a first time performer on stage do you see go viral?) and the whole thing probably belongs on SnapChat rather than youTube.
Where it will delete on its own.
Enjoy the attention and support but if you care more about comments than comedy (and we’ve all been guilty at some point), you will be setting yourself up for failure.
If you want to get feedback from others share a private link amongst your friends, but you will need support/shares/fans to come to your shows once you really decide to do this long-term, so don’t stretch yourself thin too early.
Only start inviting your friends on Facebook after a year, so they actually have something worthwhile to see.
You’ve spent all day at work, and then braced hours of traffic, parked your car and are now waiting an hour at the venue before you perform your five minutes of jokes.
Why the hell are you reading off a piece of paper in front of audience members who did the same? What were you doing in the cab the whole time that you couldn’t remember 5 bullet points?
If you’re willing to do all the previous things, not taking five minutes at home, in your car or in the bathroom to practice/memorize your set is inexcusable.
So many comics who are not doing well then looking at their paper just makes the audience thing: “Oh God he has a list and is not gonna finish.” It’s like when your CEO has 20 pages of notes and you know for sure he ain’t cutting that speech short.
I still do this and I know it’s completely wrong, but in your first few years you need to ensure you do not do this. You will weaken your memory skills and set yourself up for failure.
The sooner you memorize, the sooner you give more lift/performance to your jokes and the sooner you’ll get better.
If you can’t memorize 5 minutes as the first step into this business, just stop now.
7) I don’t want to Give away my material (e.g. Not put it out online for free)
A lot of comics I know don’t like releasing their material (as if they’re signed to Sony Music) because they either don’t want people who come live to see the same jokes, or they want to get paid in some form.
But when you’re first starting out, this is one of the best assets at your disposal.
Putting out short clips (1-4 minutes) on a certain topic is a great way to reach people who otherwise will likely not know who you are (if the clip is good and shot well, of course, see the previous point).
Even if a video “fails” at only 1,000 views, that’s probably 10-20 times more people than who saw you perform the joke live.
You think your crappy cell phone clip about Modi travelling is “giving away” your material. Best joke ever!
It also gives you accountability and ownership for a joke, allows feedback so you can hear the harsh truth from people who aren’t your friends, and forces you to write new material for the fans who you do make online.
Above I had mentioned not to put out your first clip, but once you get into the hustle and grind of comedy, putting out material that is tested and ready to be retired is arguably a game-changer in a country where 99% of the population still hasn’t seen a comedy show live.
So make sure you get your stuff out there and don’t hold on to the past.
8) Dressing Like a Slob
One thing I’ve noticed as I get older is how I see myself in younger people.
And then I cringe at how stupid I was.
And then I laugh cause now they’re stupid and I’m probably only stupid to 40-year-olds.
But I get it bro.
You’re jaded in your middle-class lifestyle.
You’ve seen YouTube clips of Bill Hicks, Mitch Hedberg, and Bill Burr and you think you got it all figured out.
Absorbing 30 years of their careers while smoking a joint with friends, you understand this comedy thing right?
And so a good chunk of you come to the shows or open mics, wearing slippers and looking like you just woke up. And if that was part of your routine (e.g. if dressing sloppy or looking stoned made your jokes better ) I would be all for it.
But in reality, let us call a spade a spade. You’re performing stand up comedy to a group of strangers because you obviously want to be there and you care about their opinion.
Hell, you need their opinion. Their validation (laughter) is your only metric of progress.
And since you’re a human being like the rest of us, you obviously want to do well. And since you admire the comedy greats who also looked like they didn’t care (even though that whole act is filmed in front of thousands of people with mega-million dollar budgets), you try to emulate it forgetting that everybody in the history of comedy calls their set “their act.”
Be yourself, be who you are, but unless your jokes are just so good and you have the fan following, don’t try to look worse than your audience. And on the flip side (I’m guilty here), don’t spend all your time doing your hair and wearing those designer jeans instead of practicing your jokes.
9) Only Doing New Stuff
So many comics in India (and I don’t blame them) watch a Bill Burr or Louis CK or whoever and reverse engineer the process and churn out joke after joke at the same rate these guys do.
These folks spent twenty years building the ability to write a new hour each year, and while I’m sure it can be done easier this year with technology and the nature of entertainment, the mentality of quantity over quality can creep in.
I’ve seen newer comics who were so nervous to perform in Bombay because they had performed at the same venue six months ago, and they assumed it would be a 100 percent repeat audience and then proceeded to try out new jokes and tank horribly.
While you should always be writing new bits, you should recognize the lucky platforms you sometimes receive and not overthink the situation.
Even if there was 1 person out of 100 that saw you before, disappointing 1/00 with an old joke is better than bombing for 99/100 with new bits.
As more venues appear in the country, with more diversification in performers and audience alike, remember when to bring out your tried and tested material and when not to. In 2019 as I update this article, Canvas has shut in Mumbai and Habitat is the main comedy club there. If you have a viral clip performing there, then don’t perform those jokes again. But if you don’t, feel free.
A joke is also never finished, and repeating it for fresh faces over time gives you additional tags, ideas, and ways to make it better.
The modern stand up comedy scene in India (which started almost entirely in English) is moving towards a more mixed/Hinglish model, and after years of seeing the evolution, it’s sort of time to accept it.
I didn’t grow up here so that obviously it doesn’t help me with my terrible NRI Hindi, but this is India and I have no right to crib about it. Part of comedy is learning to accept things you can’t change, and in India, this is one for me. But it may be a strength for you so lean into it! (And also don’t get angry when your full Hindi set tanks in Chennai).
The point I’m trying to make is regional comedy is just getting started. Even the Comicstaan trailer’s I’m seeing online are almost all Hindi, even though a few of my friends judging it barely speak it.
I don’t know Hindi but I can write scripts/sketches in English that get translated, and well…sometimes that clicks more. (In this video Sumukhi did the translations after I typed it out in English). This was my first attempt doing Hindi and well, it blew up.
Earlier on most English stand up comedy venues in the country would ask the comics to focus on English, but after a while you realize, they’re just some things way funnier in Hindi. Or Tamil, or Kannada, or some mixture of it all.
If you get cut off in traffic you’re probably gonna think “Fu*king Chutiya” versus “Oh that jerk!” and as someone who has tried telling both versions on stage, I think you can see how an Indian audience would relate.
Every country has its own style of stand up comedy that branches off in its own unique way from the art, so India is no different.
In Delhi, Hindi is king, followed by a more mixed model in Bombay and I’d say in the South it’s still focused on English.
If you’re comfortable speaking in Hindi, then do that.
If you mainly speak in English, then do that.
But don’t be fake to yourself.
A common theme over the last few years is to have a setup in English and then deliver the punchline in Hindi.
And boy oh boy, does it kill like anything when the joke is actually funny.
So as you progress through and watch hundreds of comics, take stock how each person uses language to their benefit. If you think in English and express yourself in Hindi slang, then, by all means, do it.
But if you try to pander or lecture in one language or the other, the audience can often times see through your inauthenticity if that is not how you really speak.
The beautiful part about India is since there is so much culture and people from all walks of life, people will enjoy your comedy in one style or another. Just keep at it and play to your strengths.
Another side note is on swearing. If you have a joke that is about watchmen or elevators, and the only time you get a laugh is on using the MC or BC’s, ask yourself if the joke was actually funny or the audience just laughed on the adult stuff.
CONCLUSION
Stand up Comedy is not easy.
You left a high paying IT job to deal with stoners and slackers for this!
If you read the full article, I’m sure you know that by now.
I wrote an entire post as well about how to have a stand-up comedy career in India or anywhere that will probably get you even more sad.
But if you want it for the right reasons, and trust me, fame shouldn’t be one of them…you’ll be more famous than you can imagine. But with India, there is a boom so feel free to get in front of it.
It just might take 10 years or more!
Good luck!
Also, starting a podcast is a great way to move faster up the comedy ladder.
It’s an exciting time to be a comedian in this country, and it’s only going to get massively bigger and bigger as comedy penetrates the tier two cities and people start voicing more opinions using humor to affect social change. But the industry is still in its baby stages and has some amazing things ahead.
I hope the above was helpful, and I’d like you to know I’ve made (and will probably repeat) all of the mistakes above. So please let me know if I missed anything and/or you have any other feedback and happy open mic’ing.
Sanjay Manaktala is a stand-up comedian who was instrumental in starting the comedy scene in India when the UK Comedy store also entered the country in 2010. Since then he’s helped hundreds of comedians figure it out, and is also the host of the iTunes and Spotify charted Birdy Num Num podcast, because life begins after Engineering. In this post, he talks about the weekly struggle of comics who have to deal with doing badly on stage.
Updated: Jan 2019
As I write this post it’s 11PM on a Wednesday night.
I’ve just returned home still wearing the suit I put on a few hours earlier when I was filled with hope and optimism. Only now I’m about to toss it in the laundry bin and dub it my “bad luck suit.”
This was probably my 200th corporate show, for a group of software managers, and man oh man….did I eat shit.
Bombing as a comedian is one of the worst parts of the job.
Corporate Shows can make or break you.
Stand Up Comedy Is Hard
Comedians are an interesting bunch in that we don’t really have any discernible talent.
A musician can strum the guitar with immense precision, a singer or athlete have even more obvious gifts but with comedy (and part of the reason I got into it myself) the talent is less tangible. After all, you’re just a guy on stage talking into a microphone.
What could be so difficult?
So you give it a shot.
You visit a local open mic, listen to the schmucks ahead of you and slowly start to feel those nerves tingle as your name gets closer to going up.
Flash forward a few hours and eventually….
You bomb.
And you bomb some more.
And then you realize, as someone who has done this for close to six years now….you’re going to bomb a lot.
Comedy is by all accounts (based on the lexicon it uses) a very passionate profession. Although it’s been said many times before, the proof is in the terms themselves. When you do well you either “kill” or “destroy.” Or as my friend Comedian Praveen Kumar once said when I asked him how his show was, “Machaaa, I killed but didn’t destroy.”
Inversely when you do badly you “died” or “bombed.”
For the purposes of this post let’s just stick to “bombing” so this site gets flagged for all the wrong reasons. And since I’m in a depressing place re-evaluating my career after my almost routine once-every-three-months shit-eating show tonight, let’s talk about it.
I’ve probably bombed on stage more than I’ve not bombed.
I remember hearing a friends story about how he did so well his first few times on stage. He hadn’t realized the reason was that a big chunk of his friends was supporting him from the audience, and the first night he performed without them he died hard.
The promoter walked up to him, placed a hand on his shoulder and said “Congrats bro. Now you’re a comedian.”
Bombing is as much a part of being a comedian as going to the gym is for an athlete.
It’s completely normal, expected and happens to everyone, from the first time performer to Chris Rock testing out new bits. The problem with comedy is that you need an audience to practice. In fact, the game itself is the practice.
A musician can practice a song a 1000 times before making it flawless, and the same is true for various other art forms.
But with comedy, your mistakes happen live and in real-time.
What might be funny amongst a group of friends or as a really popular tweet, will not be verified or shut down until you do it live for a group of strangers.
No matter what shortcuts you try the sooner you accept bombing as a routine hazard of the job the sooner you take steps to minimize the pain and maximize the benefits of not doing well.
STORY: In Bangalore, we’ve had a room Praveen and I started four years ago at Urban Solace (a small friendly coffee shop) in which we’d perform for two people.
YES, TWO PEOPLE.
Now the room is run weekly with a steady audience and you know what?
A majority of comics who have graduated through that room went on to do wonderful things and continue to do so.
Early in our planning we could have thought, “Nobody comes here, this is a waste of time.” But instead, night after night, week over week, we figured out it wasn’t the audience not wanting to support us, but it was the comedians not knowing how to hold the audience’s attention.
And eventually, week after week, year after year, things turned around. Come by any Wednesday, and see a comedy scene in full bloom, with years of history now behind it.
Perry Menzies runs a great room.
Good shows make you good. Bad shows make you better. Shitty shows make you great.
A pilot doesn’t spend most of his training flying the plane on autopilot, and a well-seasoned comedian has likely spent way more of his or her time dealing with crap than reveling in fan appreciation about how funny their blowjob story was.
Whether it’s building the thick skin needed to deal with hecklers, bartenders using blenders, crowd noise or trying to convince 50 drunks who prefer to watch sports that their first tinder date story is much more interesting, a comedian must be ready to deal with anything.
Back to the pilot analogy, I’m going to assume that 80% of a pilot’s training isn’t on autopilot but on what to do when things go wrong and comedy is exactly the same.
When you watch a comedian like a Bill Burr or Louis CK talk about women or traveling, they didn’t just magically get selected as the random white dude to talk about these things for a collective conscious.
They’ve dealt with all of the above and then some, night after night and have masterfully figured out a way to deliver a message through a swarm of drunk and apprehensive message blockers that have earned them the stage and audience they command.
Bombing for a comic is like Training Day. Man that pun was the bomb. Ok sorry.
When you bomb as a comedian, you overcome quite a few things.
Stage fright.
Ego.
Course correction.
You leave the stage feeling like a pile of dirt, but after a few hours or days, you quickly realize it’s not the end of the world and regroup.
It builds the mental fortitude necessary to survive in this business of constant rejection and swings and misses. All of the above is realized much much faster of course if you can learn from it properly and….
Disarm the Bomb and Get on With It
It’s comforting to know that bombing is commonplace, and everyone bombs.
It makes going through this comedy journey a lot easier, no matter what stage you’re currently in. But understanding why you bombed, uff….that’s easier said than done.
Was I too nervous? Too fast? Too slow? Was it the audience? Were the jokes too dirty or not dirty enough?
These are all questions you’ll ask yourself with fellow comedians at 1AM in some dingy restaurant eating unhealthy food as you wallow in self-pity.
But they’re extremely helpful in making you a better comedian. As you answer these questions one by one, you learn to spot the causes of these issues at all future shows and eventually, you bomb less. Let’s take a look at each:
1) Were you too nervous? Or too fast/slow?
I still get nervous, even after over 1000+ times on stage.
Maybe I’m performing in a new country and not sure if they’ll get my references, or the show is being filmed, or the jokes are just too new and I’m not confident enough in their delivery.
Or that girl I like is in the audience and it’s going to chip away at my timing and pacing since I’ll be checking her reactions to see if I’m winning her over, which I’m so clearly not. Either way, it’s another part of the job.
One of the easiest ways to spot this during your act is to notice if you’re stuttering or mumbling your words.
The more you do this, the audience subconsciously loses faith in your setups and your timing suffers. Another way to spot this (and learn from it) after the fact is by recording your set. A comic once told me that they film each performance and watch/listen to it immediately in traffic on the drive home.
When you do this, especially after an open mic, you’re actually performing twice that night (the logic being since you were most likely going to perform the exact same routine the next open mic night, you’ve done this by listening to yourself and now you’re going to adjust on the next show). Plus we have so much time before and after a show as comedians, not watching your set is almost inexcusable since you’re sitting there waiting to go up anyways. (Same is true for not memorizing your set and going up with a piece of paper, but more on that another time).
2) Was it the Audience’s Fault?
IT’S NEVER THE AUDIENCE.
I live in India, a place that sometimes can feel like 30 countries mashed together each with different languages, foods, customs and a whole slew of unique comic references depending on which state you’re in.
Punjabi’s may like a certain type of jokes, South Indians might prefer another type, and then the foreigners in the crowd are just happy they’ve found a place that is crowded and not on lonely planet.
And despite all of that, I’m here to remind you again, IT’S NEVER THE AUDIENCE.
2M views on this video and I still get 10% of hate from people who just didn’t like it. That’s just more for me to learn, not to complain about.
I’ve done shows with my super American accent, in Hyderabad, for 400 Canon salesmen who didn’t speak a word of English.
But despite everything, it’s never really their fault.
They’re just a group of people who happened to be together at a given intersection of time and space (Star Trek reference woo woo) and you happen to be the comic.
It might not be the perfect audience, but early in your career, you will see very hostile or quiet rooms get turned around in almost magical fashion by a comic who is up for the challenge and knows what he or she is doing.
Maybe all your jokes are about sex and dating and the audience is filled with Aunties & Uncles.
Or maybe you do a whole set on corporate life and marriage and you’re catering to a bunch of 16-year-old college-bound kids who know nothing aside from Game of Thrones and video games.
Either way, your job is to make a group of strangers laugh and until you command a huge theater of fans who are identical to you, you first need to learn how to make them all laugh.
Take any show you can get and be ready for any crowd. Try to perform for people who aren’t like you and watch the other comedians who are performing and take stock of what works.
Not blaming the audience is the first step towards correctly reading the audience.
And being able to read the audience (e.g. Do they want dirty jokes? Are they tired of dirty jokes? Maybe they don’t care about jokes but love the crowd work, etc..) is one of the most important skills in your comedy arsenal.
3) Maybe you just sucked bro.
It’s important to make friends as you push through the ranks.
They help you enjoy the highs and march through the lows.
And as comedians, we have a lot of fun doing it. Before tonight it had been a few months since my last good bombing when I performed in Surat with comedy friend Vipul Goyal.
The crowd wasn’t ideal for me and I didn’t scan them enough to realize that. I don’t speak Hindi but I could have done stuff that was a bit more in line with their lives rather than stretch the references to see if they got it.
After a less than stellar performance, I walked backstage and Vipul asked me (with an evil smirk hiding behind his curiosity) “How was the show?” I told him it was alright, and that at least I had fun.
To which he replied “Nice, but the audience should have fun too no?”
Stupid bastard.
Either way, it’s helpful to remember that in comedy you’re always learning as you go.
You will have different types of bombs as you progress through your journey:
The new material bomb,
the nervous on a new stage bomb,
the on-purpose open mic bomb, whatever it might be.
But more often than not, it will be because the joke isn’t funny.
Remember this, and keep reworking your act.
When a joke works 9/10 times you can be sure the joke is fine and it’s just a matter of finding the right crowd. But if you’ve done it twice and it bombs on a real show…it could just as easily still be the joke and you simply lucked out those first two times.
Some Final Thoughts
The best comedians have really good bomb stories, and that’s part of the reason they’re revered as the best comedians. When it happens to you, just remember it as another part of the job.
Embrace it with a smile on your face and thank your lucky stars it’s happening now than when Seinfeld is in the audience, and you’ll be ok.
Some other pointers I didn’t get a chance to talk about:
Don’t focus on the one guy not laughing to the extent it takes away from those who are laughing with you. Disappointing 10 percent is better than disappointing 90 percent.
Cut it short and deal with it. Watching a comic unravel on stage is not pleasant for anyone. If you’re bombing, finish your set early. Give the emcee adequate signs (e.g. Put the mic stand near the center of the stage) and wrap it up, ending hopefully on whatever laugh you can muster.
Get back up on stage as soon as possible. Whenever I bomb, I quickly try to find an open mic later in the night I can go “wash off the bomb.” It helps my mind get back to a positive place and resets the comedy heart to deal with the career again.
